Hey y’all, I’m on Spring Break with the kids this week, so it’s your turn! What’s One Job that got away from you?
One you felt sure would’ve turned the tide.
Use as many or few details as you’re comfortable with. How do you feel about it now, however many months/years later? There’s no pressure here to put a “positive” spin on things. Just put out here what needs puttin’ out. Comment now or come back in a day or two when you’ve thought about it.
And of course stay kind to each other, as you all seem to be, who have found your way here.
I’m one month in! Thank you so much for your eyes and ears so far and for spreading the word! See y’all soon.
Oh goodness, how much time do you have, dear Bethany?
There was an incredible role on one of my favorite series. A dystopian drama about women being forced to be incubators (you might know the one) and I read for a REALLY REALLY GOOD role and was pinned for it. For an loooong time. “She’s still pinned!” “She’s everyone’s favorite!” “Producers LOVE her!” …and then the role got cut from the series. I was truly heartbroken. And honestly, years later it still stings.
Thank you for creating this space. I appreciate you.
Agreed. The thing where you did everything “right” and still… there was nothing you could do. Same with your story, Jason. It’s a special kind of heartbreak. 💔 😭
First off, THANK YOU for your this. No one ever asks us about he ones we were soooooooo close to.
I was 21 and living in NYC and auditioning for lots of tv stuff. I had no idea what I was doing, no mentors, no one to guide me except my agent (who made it clear he was very attracted to me.)
But I had a champion at ABC (this was back when the networks all had huge, luxurious Casting offices) named Alexa Fogel. Yep, that Alexa Fogel. She was an associate, not even a full CD yet.
There was an ABC movie of the week called The Preppy Murder based on the Robert Chambers case. I look exactly like Robert Chambers. I auditioned for the lead role. I had various callbacks and Alexa kept coaching me all along. Then I had my very first screen test. It was at ABC, they had hair and makeup, I was wired, contract terms had been negotiated...it was a BIG DEAL! Network screen test!!
I did well. I read opposite Danny Aiello who was playing the main detective. I was nervous but left felling confident. Everyone there was very encouraging. I was sure it was mine.
And...I didn't get it. And the reason why was such an early window in to how our business works.
As Alexa explained to me:
We had it. But then LA casting says: "Alex Baldwin's little brother is getting out of modeling and he's acting now. Everyone here thinks he'd be a great choice. We're screen testing him out here"
So Billy Baldwin got his first acting credit as a lead in a TV movie because his brother was a big star at the time. And Jason went back to waiting tables.
At 21 years old I realized that the best actor doesn't always get the role and that connections/family/nepotism can play a part in who does.
I've often wondered who I would have become if I'd been cast. Would I have become a cocky a-hole? Would I have burned bright for a minute and then faded quickly? Would I have gotten in to partying and drugs (even more that I already was ) and tanked my career?
We will never know. I made an impression. Alexa was an ally and ABC loved me. I was laying the seeds. And then I did something really stupid. I moved to LA just as I was getting traction in NYC! Dumb kid.
I have more but I'll spare you. At some point I will tell you about the Broadway show that got away...
First off, thank you for this insightful prompt. I have been listening every week which is kind of remarkable for me because...squirrel. Thank you for sharing your stories. They've been helping me tremendously. Now story time...
I was going in for a show a couple of years ago all summer - a show that I was really excited to work on because my husband loved the video games growing up. Co-star. Guest star. Guest star. Co-star. Guest star. By Grabthar's hammer, I was getting on this show.
At the same time, I happened to go in for a show that I fell in love with the year before, a show that I thought I couldn't realistically exist in (being an Asian actress) until the appointment came through - and a recurring GS at that. I also hadn't been seen by this CD in over a year, so I was determined to do good work. I turned in tapes for both shows one week, felt great about both, and waited.
I got pinned for the video game show with my first GS role - and subsequently got pinned for the dream show role within 24 hours. True whirlwind. The offer for the first show came through (yay!), I received travel dates, and I was on my way. As I was getting ready to start my drive, an "offer" came through from the dream show without firm dates, and we were told that they'd be able to work around my existing days on the first show. The casting offices were already talking to each other. Pinch me. Dream. Come. True.
As I was driving into NOLA on Monday morning for my fitting and work week, my agent calls.
The dream show? They needed me in VA this week which is, you know, not...reallly...working around my existing work days...like...at all.
My agent asked me which show I'd rather do the work on.
"What do you mean which show? I'm an hour outside of NOLA right now."
I was going to work on the show that I said I'd work on first, obviously. I wasn't going to pull a switcheroo on them when I was due to work the next day. I WANTED to be in NOLA. I worked all summer to get here. And hey, what happened to working around my schedule?
Well, the heavier recurring guest stars had schedule changes, so everything was changing. My agent didn't even want to talk numbers because he didn't want me to be heartbroken, but honestly, I was more heartbroken about not getting to work on it at all. The two casting offices went back and forth a few times, but eventually it became clear that it wasn't going to work out.
And yes, I was literally on location for another dream role - feeling absolutely ecstatic and grateful - while also feeling devastated. What a blessed problem to have. But it was a true roller coaster of emotions for a couple of days.
At the end of the day, I knew I ended up where I was supposed to. I had a wonderful time on set with a team of people who worked like a well-oiled machine and were excited to see me. "We've been watching your work all summer, and we were like, 'We gotta find a place for her.'" What else could a girl ask for?
But honestly? I spent an embarrassing amount of time being a little mad about the fact that it felt like I lost the other job when I didn't do anything wrong. This was after losing another job earlier on in the year on another technicality, so I was...a little sore. There was a point in time when I couldn't bring myself to see who actually ended up getting to play the woman I so desperately wanted to play. But I did one day, even when I didn't feel entirely ready.
And I saw her. And I looked through her materials. I imagined her as this character and she was...honestly perfect. The right woman booked the job. And I'm happy for her and what it's done for her career.
I have so many other jobs that got away, each frustrating at varying degrees for varying reasons - but this one really felt like it was right in the palm of my hand.
Thank you for hosting a space where we can share these stories. I'm looking forward to reading everyone else's.
Oh my goodness. I have felt sick over having to choose between two good options before. It’s sickening because you know you’re lucky and you feel a little greedy… but also you know the day will come again soon when there will be NOTHING and you’ll be tearing your hair out for this choice again. What a crazy story, Eden. 😭💔
Rather than one specific role, it was a show that got away…my white whale…TURN.
I auditioned for the show 23 times—everything from recurring guest star to “under 5” roles. Worked my tail off every time. Got my avail checked 7 times.
But never booked.
I love period pieces and I absolutely wanted to work on that show, but towards the end I started laughing when I’d get an audition; I’d just say “well, I’m not gonna book it, but I’ll give them an amazing show anyway!”
Like many others, I'm sure, I can't really say that there was this ONE job that got away, since so many auditions I didn't book seem like they might've led to something bigger. But I can say there was this one recent project that really gutted me...a limited dramatic series that came in mid-pandemic and ultimately won some critical acclaim, with subject matter that was personal for me, a series for which I was called something like 14 TIMES by Casting to read for as many different roles. Some roles were bigger than others, but each audition required the same amount of effort, time and energy. UGH, I remember pouring my heart into every tape, take and scene sent. It was Fall of 2020 and for part of it, I was actually living in shut-down L.A. in the casita behind my friend's house, and barely anyone was working at the time and I remember thinking, God, wouldn't it be nice to book something right now, to be able to work and generate some income and get to be on set with this incredible lead and this cast? And just.....nothing. No callbacks, no pins. No avail checks. And no feedback. On anything. Just radio silence. Ev-er-y time. And I guess I should be more proactive about asking my agents to try to get some kind of feedback for me, in general, but I just swallowed hard and cried my eyes out once I knew offers had gone out and none were coming my way. And as a late 40-something actor at that very uncertain time in our industry, it was just beyond soul crushing to not book *some*thing. I get teary just thinking of it.
"That which is meant for me will not miss me." That's the mantra I had to believe in. Even now, maybe especially now, as we find ourselves still waiting for work to begin again.
Anyway, thank you for creating this beautiful space and sharing yourself with all of us. I'm glad for this community you're building.
14 TIMES. The time we put into these things… Boy I’m sure rooting for you that someone remembers and it leads to something down the road! But man, we all know how discouraging that feels.
Hi Bethany! Thanks for offering this for creatives. Appreciate you and hope you and your fam have a wonderful Spring Break.
On the topic herein, I’d say I have two. Two years ago I was sent to producers for a recurring Co-Star. I feel like the CD and series tied to that job would have been a game changer on the resume. Then last year, finally auditioned for a big CD (first time) and booked a Co-Star in a brand new TV series, first episode….well, that is until my role got cut day before travel. It’s happens - did shed a tear over that one. Having said all that, for me I’ve found every audition is an opportunity to live in characters and play, couldn’t imagine not being a part of that world. :)
P.S. I should probably add/disclose I receive maybe 3-4 TV Series / Film auditions PER YEAR - thus why these particular jobs were so key to a change up in my TV/ Film arena. I do audition multiple times a week, but for commercials, industrials and VO.
Not film/tv related, but I had been living in NYC for 4 years and was really feeling burnt out and tired from the grind of auditioning and waiting tables. I was desperate for a sign that I should keep at it, and went to an audition for The Fantasticks off Bway. They were seeking a Luisa replacement, a part that 25 year old me was perfect for, and I got a callback. I actually knew the actor playing Matt at the time and he helped me some with the material as did my acting coach and voice teacher. I got to sing and read sides on the set, and had lots of feedback from the creative team, as they had me do the material several times- I called my coach afterward feeling like I had totally nailed it. But the phone never rang and I didn't get it. I was so discouraged. It was the role that would have changed the trajectory of my career and life, but instead I decided to take a hiatus from the city and moved to Atlanta and found a very fulfilling life in the theatre here, as well as met my husband. So it ended up working out for the best. But I was so disappointed, and I still wonder what would have happened if I had booked it!
You of course are a PERFECT Luisa. Yes, the “what ifs” if things had taken off in NYC are always interesting. The paths that just turned out to be not for us. The phones that never rang. 💔💛
Hi Bethany! I have been thoroughly enjoying your words and I just discovered you read them as well, which has been super helpful with busy mom life.
There was a newly scripted limited series that was based on a true story about a calvary unit from fort hood that was deployed to Iraq and we're ambushed. It followed the stories of the soldiers and their families lives before, during, and after the deployment. Well, my husband was in the Army, I knew military life very well. I had experienced a deployment as a spouse. All the scariness and goodness and everything in between of being a military family, I had lived it. I wanted to book this show so badly. I came in and read, first time for this local casting office. I was prepped and so emotionally attached to the material. This role, this woman, we had so much in common down to even having the same volunteer positions in the Family Readiness Group. Her husband was an officer, so was mine. It felt like it was me.
I was beyond proud of what I did in that room, and so was casting with glowing words of affirmation. After weeks of not hearing anything I knew it wasn't mine and was absolutely horrified to see which of my local actress friends were gonna book it... then I saw a DEADLINE article come out about the show and 'Kate Bosworth' was cast in that role. Not gonna lie, it made me feel a little better, it softened the blow.
That audition did start my relationship with that casting office and I've had such a positive relationship with them since. I did read a few more times for that project, always knocking it out of the park, even the casting assistant was rooting for me especially for the last role I read for. I was a freaking Army wife for goodness sake. But I never booked the series. I knew that job would have started some waves for me, I grieved it for awhile.
Hi Bethany - I've loved your instagram posts and am so glad to have discovered (even late) your thoughts about our weird industry.
Six or seven years ago I was asked to audition for a brand-new show. A role that had a great small scene, and was the mother of a lead character. I taped for a CD that I'd only auditioned for a few times. But low-and-behold, I was asked to come in for an in-person call back with the national casting director and the brothers who created the show. The read went really well. I was complimented (and I think sincerely) by both the local CDs and the national one. A few days later I got the call - and the pin! Stunned, but overjoyed to have had such a success, my confidence level got a huge boost. Then, a month or so later, the CD calls my agent and says "They've downgraded the role to a featured extra, with no lines. I don't think Deadra should do this one. There will be much larger roles later that she'd do well to be available for." So that was that. I read a few more times for season one, and even more times for seasons 2-5. But in season 2 they created the role of Dusty's Mom as a recurring character, and I did get a chance to tape for it. But by then the show was a hit and "bigger names" were all clamoring to get on. The non-Atlanta actress who played the role, the amazing Catherine Curtain (Orange is the New Black, and a really substantial resume), was perfect and hysterical. So that helped, of course. But I can't help wonder if being Dusty's Mom, even as an extra, would have helped my chances the next year.
The real stinger, though, was that I auditioned for the series SO many times (at least 12) over it's run, and never booked it. The result of that is I try not to get too excited about ANY booking until I'm at the production offices for a fitting. Then I allow it to "be real."
I really appreciated reading other's versions of the same events and feelings. It has helped put my experience in perspective, as I booked some shows that others were passed for. You really have to find your own way through all the mess and to the joy of the work that we do.
Hmmm ... how about one that wasn't even available but used up a lot of my time and effort anyway? Dopesick. I read for about seven different roles that weren't really in my wheelhouse but finally one dropped that was right up my alley. I invested several days prepping to tape at home, found the best reader I could muster, cooked a meal to eat (one scene was a family supper scene) and taped that sucker and sent it off. Crickets ... again.
As usual I checked IMDb periodically to see who they eventually selected. Ray McKinnon. Well, I can deal with that. He is after all one of my idols and a friend so ... that's fair. I was happy for him.
For fun I wrote him a note and suggested he should take a sabbatical so I could maybe take over for him. He writes back and asks, "Why are they having you read for a role they offered me and I accepted four months ago?"
Why indeed.
When the next audition request for Dopesick came in I told my agent to send my reel and that I'd entertain offers. No more. I was done.
Yeah ... that didn't work either. Great show. Happy for my friends.
Oh goodness, how much time do you have, dear Bethany?
There was an incredible role on one of my favorite series. A dystopian drama about women being forced to be incubators (you might know the one) and I read for a REALLY REALLY GOOD role and was pinned for it. For an loooong time. “She’s still pinned!” “She’s everyone’s favorite!” “Producers LOVE her!” …and then the role got cut from the series. I was truly heartbroken. And honestly, years later it still stings.
Thank you for creating this space. I appreciate you.
Jessica! This stings!! Ugh.
Agreed. The thing where you did everything “right” and still… there was nothing you could do. Same with your story, Jason. It’s a special kind of heartbreak. 💔 😭
Oh Bethany...where do I start?
First off, THANK YOU for your this. No one ever asks us about he ones we were soooooooo close to.
I was 21 and living in NYC and auditioning for lots of tv stuff. I had no idea what I was doing, no mentors, no one to guide me except my agent (who made it clear he was very attracted to me.)
But I had a champion at ABC (this was back when the networks all had huge, luxurious Casting offices) named Alexa Fogel. Yep, that Alexa Fogel. She was an associate, not even a full CD yet.
There was an ABC movie of the week called The Preppy Murder based on the Robert Chambers case. I look exactly like Robert Chambers. I auditioned for the lead role. I had various callbacks and Alexa kept coaching me all along. Then I had my very first screen test. It was at ABC, they had hair and makeup, I was wired, contract terms had been negotiated...it was a BIG DEAL! Network screen test!!
I did well. I read opposite Danny Aiello who was playing the main detective. I was nervous but left felling confident. Everyone there was very encouraging. I was sure it was mine.
And...I didn't get it. And the reason why was such an early window in to how our business works.
As Alexa explained to me:
We had it. But then LA casting says: "Alex Baldwin's little brother is getting out of modeling and he's acting now. Everyone here thinks he'd be a great choice. We're screen testing him out here"
So Billy Baldwin got his first acting credit as a lead in a TV movie because his brother was a big star at the time. And Jason went back to waiting tables.
At 21 years old I realized that the best actor doesn't always get the role and that connections/family/nepotism can play a part in who does.
I've often wondered who I would have become if I'd been cast. Would I have become a cocky a-hole? Would I have burned bright for a minute and then faded quickly? Would I have gotten in to partying and drugs (even more that I already was ) and tanked my career?
We will never know. I made an impression. Alexa was an ally and ABC loved me. I was laying the seeds. And then I did something really stupid. I moved to LA just as I was getting traction in NYC! Dumb kid.
I have more but I'll spare you. At some point I will tell you about the Broadway show that got away...
All the - how might this have changed *who I am* questions - are also… haunting. I’m sure glad you are who you are. 💛
First off, thank you for this insightful prompt. I have been listening every week which is kind of remarkable for me because...squirrel. Thank you for sharing your stories. They've been helping me tremendously. Now story time...
I was going in for a show a couple of years ago all summer - a show that I was really excited to work on because my husband loved the video games growing up. Co-star. Guest star. Guest star. Co-star. Guest star. By Grabthar's hammer, I was getting on this show.
At the same time, I happened to go in for a show that I fell in love with the year before, a show that I thought I couldn't realistically exist in (being an Asian actress) until the appointment came through - and a recurring GS at that. I also hadn't been seen by this CD in over a year, so I was determined to do good work. I turned in tapes for both shows one week, felt great about both, and waited.
I got pinned for the video game show with my first GS role - and subsequently got pinned for the dream show role within 24 hours. True whirlwind. The offer for the first show came through (yay!), I received travel dates, and I was on my way. As I was getting ready to start my drive, an "offer" came through from the dream show without firm dates, and we were told that they'd be able to work around my existing days on the first show. The casting offices were already talking to each other. Pinch me. Dream. Come. True.
As I was driving into NOLA on Monday morning for my fitting and work week, my agent calls.
The dream show? They needed me in VA this week which is, you know, not...reallly...working around my existing work days...like...at all.
My agent asked me which show I'd rather do the work on.
"What do you mean which show? I'm an hour outside of NOLA right now."
I was going to work on the show that I said I'd work on first, obviously. I wasn't going to pull a switcheroo on them when I was due to work the next day. I WANTED to be in NOLA. I worked all summer to get here. And hey, what happened to working around my schedule?
Well, the heavier recurring guest stars had schedule changes, so everything was changing. My agent didn't even want to talk numbers because he didn't want me to be heartbroken, but honestly, I was more heartbroken about not getting to work on it at all. The two casting offices went back and forth a few times, but eventually it became clear that it wasn't going to work out.
And yes, I was literally on location for another dream role - feeling absolutely ecstatic and grateful - while also feeling devastated. What a blessed problem to have. But it was a true roller coaster of emotions for a couple of days.
At the end of the day, I knew I ended up where I was supposed to. I had a wonderful time on set with a team of people who worked like a well-oiled machine and were excited to see me. "We've been watching your work all summer, and we were like, 'We gotta find a place for her.'" What else could a girl ask for?
But honestly? I spent an embarrassing amount of time being a little mad about the fact that it felt like I lost the other job when I didn't do anything wrong. This was after losing another job earlier on in the year on another technicality, so I was...a little sore. There was a point in time when I couldn't bring myself to see who actually ended up getting to play the woman I so desperately wanted to play. But I did one day, even when I didn't feel entirely ready.
And I saw her. And I looked through her materials. I imagined her as this character and she was...honestly perfect. The right woman booked the job. And I'm happy for her and what it's done for her career.
I have so many other jobs that got away, each frustrating at varying degrees for varying reasons - but this one really felt like it was right in the palm of my hand.
Thank you for hosting a space where we can share these stories. I'm looking forward to reading everyone else's.
Oh my goodness. I have felt sick over having to choose between two good options before. It’s sickening because you know you’re lucky and you feel a little greedy… but also you know the day will come again soon when there will be NOTHING and you’ll be tearing your hair out for this choice again. What a crazy story, Eden. 😭💔
Rather than one specific role, it was a show that got away…my white whale…TURN.
I auditioned for the show 23 times—everything from recurring guest star to “under 5” roles. Worked my tail off every time. Got my avail checked 7 times.
But never booked.
I love period pieces and I absolutely wanted to work on that show, but towards the end I started laughing when I’d get an audition; I’d just say “well, I’m not gonna book it, but I’ll give them an amazing show anyway!”
Ugggghhh. Your white whale. I love that. And of course, hate it for you. TWENTY THREE TIMES YALL. 💛
Like many others, I'm sure, I can't really say that there was this ONE job that got away, since so many auditions I didn't book seem like they might've led to something bigger. But I can say there was this one recent project that really gutted me...a limited dramatic series that came in mid-pandemic and ultimately won some critical acclaim, with subject matter that was personal for me, a series for which I was called something like 14 TIMES by Casting to read for as many different roles. Some roles were bigger than others, but each audition required the same amount of effort, time and energy. UGH, I remember pouring my heart into every tape, take and scene sent. It was Fall of 2020 and for part of it, I was actually living in shut-down L.A. in the casita behind my friend's house, and barely anyone was working at the time and I remember thinking, God, wouldn't it be nice to book something right now, to be able to work and generate some income and get to be on set with this incredible lead and this cast? And just.....nothing. No callbacks, no pins. No avail checks. And no feedback. On anything. Just radio silence. Ev-er-y time. And I guess I should be more proactive about asking my agents to try to get some kind of feedback for me, in general, but I just swallowed hard and cried my eyes out once I knew offers had gone out and none were coming my way. And as a late 40-something actor at that very uncertain time in our industry, it was just beyond soul crushing to not book *some*thing. I get teary just thinking of it.
"That which is meant for me will not miss me." That's the mantra I had to believe in. Even now, maybe especially now, as we find ourselves still waiting for work to begin again.
Anyway, thank you for creating this beautiful space and sharing yourself with all of us. I'm glad for this community you're building.
14 TIMES. The time we put into these things… Boy I’m sure rooting for you that someone remembers and it leads to something down the road! But man, we all know how discouraging that feels.
Hi Bethany! Thanks for offering this for creatives. Appreciate you and hope you and your fam have a wonderful Spring Break.
On the topic herein, I’d say I have two. Two years ago I was sent to producers for a recurring Co-Star. I feel like the CD and series tied to that job would have been a game changer on the resume. Then last year, finally auditioned for a big CD (first time) and booked a Co-Star in a brand new TV series, first episode….well, that is until my role got cut day before travel. It’s happens - did shed a tear over that one. Having said all that, for me I’ve found every audition is an opportunity to live in characters and play, couldn’t imagine not being a part of that world. :)
P.S. I should probably add/disclose I receive maybe 3-4 TV Series / Film auditions PER YEAR - thus why these particular jobs were so key to a change up in my TV/ Film arena. I do audition multiple times a week, but for commercials, industrials and VO.
I’m so sorry, Teri. Shed those tears, ya gotta get em out. Rooting for you!
Not film/tv related, but I had been living in NYC for 4 years and was really feeling burnt out and tired from the grind of auditioning and waiting tables. I was desperate for a sign that I should keep at it, and went to an audition for The Fantasticks off Bway. They were seeking a Luisa replacement, a part that 25 year old me was perfect for, and I got a callback. I actually knew the actor playing Matt at the time and he helped me some with the material as did my acting coach and voice teacher. I got to sing and read sides on the set, and had lots of feedback from the creative team, as they had me do the material several times- I called my coach afterward feeling like I had totally nailed it. But the phone never rang and I didn't get it. I was so discouraged. It was the role that would have changed the trajectory of my career and life, but instead I decided to take a hiatus from the city and moved to Atlanta and found a very fulfilling life in the theatre here, as well as met my husband. So it ended up working out for the best. But I was so disappointed, and I still wonder what would have happened if I had booked it!
You of course are a PERFECT Luisa. Yes, the “what ifs” if things had taken off in NYC are always interesting. The paths that just turned out to be not for us. The phones that never rang. 💔💛
Hi Bethany! I have been thoroughly enjoying your words and I just discovered you read them as well, which has been super helpful with busy mom life.
There was a newly scripted limited series that was based on a true story about a calvary unit from fort hood that was deployed to Iraq and we're ambushed. It followed the stories of the soldiers and their families lives before, during, and after the deployment. Well, my husband was in the Army, I knew military life very well. I had experienced a deployment as a spouse. All the scariness and goodness and everything in between of being a military family, I had lived it. I wanted to book this show so badly. I came in and read, first time for this local casting office. I was prepped and so emotionally attached to the material. This role, this woman, we had so much in common down to even having the same volunteer positions in the Family Readiness Group. Her husband was an officer, so was mine. It felt like it was me.
I was beyond proud of what I did in that room, and so was casting with glowing words of affirmation. After weeks of not hearing anything I knew it wasn't mine and was absolutely horrified to see which of my local actress friends were gonna book it... then I saw a DEADLINE article come out about the show and 'Kate Bosworth' was cast in that role. Not gonna lie, it made me feel a little better, it softened the blow.
That audition did start my relationship with that casting office and I've had such a positive relationship with them since. I did read a few more times for that project, always knocking it out of the park, even the casting assistant was rooting for me especially for the last role I read for. I was a freaking Army wife for goodness sake. But I never booked the series. I knew that job would have started some waves for me, I grieved it for awhile.
But... onwards.
Keep these posts comin' <3
Hi Bethany - I've loved your instagram posts and am so glad to have discovered (even late) your thoughts about our weird industry.
Six or seven years ago I was asked to audition for a brand-new show. A role that had a great small scene, and was the mother of a lead character. I taped for a CD that I'd only auditioned for a few times. But low-and-behold, I was asked to come in for an in-person call back with the national casting director and the brothers who created the show. The read went really well. I was complimented (and I think sincerely) by both the local CDs and the national one. A few days later I got the call - and the pin! Stunned, but overjoyed to have had such a success, my confidence level got a huge boost. Then, a month or so later, the CD calls my agent and says "They've downgraded the role to a featured extra, with no lines. I don't think Deadra should do this one. There will be much larger roles later that she'd do well to be available for." So that was that. I read a few more times for season one, and even more times for seasons 2-5. But in season 2 they created the role of Dusty's Mom as a recurring character, and I did get a chance to tape for it. But by then the show was a hit and "bigger names" were all clamoring to get on. The non-Atlanta actress who played the role, the amazing Catherine Curtain (Orange is the New Black, and a really substantial resume), was perfect and hysterical. So that helped, of course. But I can't help wonder if being Dusty's Mom, even as an extra, would have helped my chances the next year.
The real stinger, though, was that I auditioned for the series SO many times (at least 12) over it's run, and never booked it. The result of that is I try not to get too excited about ANY booking until I'm at the production offices for a fitting. Then I allow it to "be real."
I really appreciated reading other's versions of the same events and feelings. It has helped put my experience in perspective, as I booked some shows that others were passed for. You really have to find your own way through all the mess and to the joy of the work that we do.
Hmmm ... how about one that wasn't even available but used up a lot of my time and effort anyway? Dopesick. I read for about seven different roles that weren't really in my wheelhouse but finally one dropped that was right up my alley. I invested several days prepping to tape at home, found the best reader I could muster, cooked a meal to eat (one scene was a family supper scene) and taped that sucker and sent it off. Crickets ... again.
As usual I checked IMDb periodically to see who they eventually selected. Ray McKinnon. Well, I can deal with that. He is after all one of my idols and a friend so ... that's fair. I was happy for him.
For fun I wrote him a note and suggested he should take a sabbatical so I could maybe take over for him. He writes back and asks, "Why are they having you read for a role they offered me and I accepted four months ago?"
Why indeed.
When the next audition request for Dopesick came in I told my agent to send my reel and that I'd entertain offers. No more. I was done.
Yeah ... that didn't work either. Great show. Happy for my friends.