The Books Are the Life Raft
Or, All the Notables and Quotables
🦻If you prefer to listen rather than read, I’ve recorded this newsletter above
I got to record an audition for a friend last night and I walked into my taping room and it looked like this
Is this the haunted island of misfit chairs? What is going on here?? Did the zombies not need taping equipment? Did I stumble upon the long-locked-off Twister soundstage? Apparently in the last month (or… three? It’s all a fog) while neither my husband or friends have needed to tape anything, this is what happened.
Shut the door behind you and move on. Nothing to see here. Toss that ring light in and walk away.
If I hadn’t already been So Down about the snail pace with which our industry seems to be bringing new projects to us, I might’ve burst into tears at this sight. But I was already quite down and opening the door to this gave me a real case of the giggles. There are so many things to choose from to be down about right now. It’s a veritable buffet of depressing news out there, all you can eat!
But before you put me on your prayer list for spiraling into the depths of despair… fear not! I’ve been devouring books this summer! The good kind that make me want to be a better human, writer, actor, coach, activist, friend. The kind that keep me believing that this planet and the people who populate it are worth keeping my chin up and expressing a little hope for.
So, between not acting, not sending my kids to summer camps (OMG WHY ARE THEY SO EXPENSIVE), between lovely visits with family and dear friends, between camping trips and coaching some fantastic actors and taking the kids to any free activities the city has to offer: the books are BOOKING and I love them. And y’all know I love a quote. So, perhaps in the midst of any slow times you might be experiencing, here are some quotes that I adored. I recommend the books they come from, if you’re looking for another summer or anytime-of-year read, too!
From Other People’s Shoes - Thoughts on Acting, by Harriet Walter
“Compared to the dangers in real life, the stage can be the safest place on earth.”
“I was shy, but desperate to shatter my shell and be heard… For ‘shy’ also read ‘fear of being judged’, ‘fear of not living up to our own standards of perfection’, ‘fear of being pinned down’, ‘ fear of being misunderstood’, even perhaps ‘fear of being understood’.”
From Tiny Beautiful Things, by Cheryl Strayed
“I know it's not easy being an artist. I know the gulf between creation and commerce is so tremendously wide that it's sometimes impossible not to feel annihilated by it. A lot of artists give up because it's just too damn hard to go on making art in a culture that by and large does not support its artists. But the people who don't give up are the people who find a way to believe in abundance rather than scarcity. They've taken into their hearts the idea that there is enough for all of us, that success will manifest itself in different ways for different sorts of artists, that keeping the faith is more important than cashing the check, that being genuinely happy for someone else who got something you hope to get makes you genuinely happier.”
“Acceptance has everything to do with simplicity, with sitting in the ordinary place, with bearing witness to the plain facts of our life, with not just starting at the essential, but ending up there… I’m not suggesting one deny negative emotions, but rather that you accept them and move through them by embracing the power we have to keep from wallowing in emotions that don’t serve us well. It’s hard work. It’s important work. I believe something like forgiveness is on the other side.”
From Burn It Down, by Maureen Ryan
“The American Entertainment industry has not only normalized abuse, mistreatment, and exploitation, it has too often relied on these things to function. Hollywood employs its considerable public relations and image management strategies - awards shows among them - to minimize and obfuscate these truths.”
From Hits, Flops, and Other Illusions, by Ed Zwick
“Sometimes I think little is learned from success except a greater fear of failure.”
(This book is filled with some delicious not-too-distant-history Hollywood anecdotes as well as lessons hard won. I listened to this one, so wasn’t able to jot down as many of the good quotes but there are many more!)
From All The Women in My Brain, by Betty Gilpin
“For most of the time, acting feels like you are an uninvited imposter troll, tap-dancing for an audience who you’re convinced is silently begging you to stop and kill yourself. But every once in a trillion attempts, it feels like a glorious haunted church. Reality shifts and your trapdoor is ripped off its hinges, and all the ghosts come out into the room and float. I’m suddenly all the things I was when I was seven, before apologies replaced questions.”
“Sadly, as an actress, you often are not hired for the ghostly stuff but for the least interesting parts of yourself. The video game dowry qualities.”
“…after a few years of auditioning, I wondered if spending less time on charting the character’s family tree and more time curling my hair would get me more work. (It did.)”
From Tom Lake, by Ann Patchett
“To play younger is a great and fleeting gift. I had it once. I could play fourteen at twenty-four.”
“It hadn’t occurred to me until we started reading the funeral scene that I was now the age of Emily in the third act, and that no matter how young I looked, I would age out of the part in time because time was unavoidable… No one gets to go on playing Emily forever. That’s what I was thinking at the table read, how I would lose her.”
“You don’t see the play when you’re in it, and you miss the chatter of intermission entirely… this Emily was eroding their notion of what was correct. Her wedding day was played not for eroticism but for fear. She didn’t want to leave home, keep house, make meals, endure childbirth, because childbirth would kill her. She wanted to be her father’s girl, his birthday girl. Growing up was a terrible thing a clear path to the third act. Emily showed us that, all those moments in life we had missed and would never get back again… When she went back to her mother’s kitchen I cried like I had never seen the play before… I cried because I would never play Emily again. I cried because I had loved the world that much.”
“The beauty and the suffering are equally true. Our Town taught me that.”
Hope you found a few of those as inspiring, soul filling and entertaining as I did. And hopefully I’ll have the inspiration to be back with more of my own stories soon. Hope. Hope. Hope where you can find it.
What are you reading?
Or, where are you finding your inspiration these days?
A New Idea
I’d like to start an Advice Time section of the newsletter, where you bring me a decision you have to make, something bugging you about your career or the industry, and I’ll do my best to offer you something based on what I’ve learned over the years. I’m often sent messages asking for individual advice and I’m unable to respond thoroughly to everyone in that manner. But usually, what is helpful to one person is helpful to many people. So if you’re willing to ask a question specific to your circumstances, there’s probably someone else struggling with something similar.
A few guidelines:
Feel free to give yourself an anonymous name à la Dear Abby or Dear Sugar style like “Confused Character” or “Aging Ingenue”, etc.
This is not just for “new” or “young” actors! Send your questions from mid and late career too!
Tell me how the predicament or decision or situation is making you feel. Lean into that.
Avoid questions where the answer will be to take a class, like “How do I get an agent?” or “How do I sort out my finances” or something that others are already writing about like “What’s going on in the industry in Atlanta?” (Listen to these smart friends in the links!)
Don’t be afraid to connect the personal with the professional… I do it all the time here!
Questions may be slightly edited for length and content but I will do my best to make it minimal.
Send me a message here or… if you need to stay more anonymous send me an email at bethanylindcoaching@gmail.com from your burner account.
Lastly!
It’s been a true joy coaching some of you this summer, both for one-off auditions and those on a more regular basis. One thing I’ve discovered in these sessions is that since I’m not a casting director and cannot get you an agent, you get to feel no need to impress me. This really frees you to take risks and explore the edges of where you want to go with your characters. It gives you the freedom to fail as extravagantly as you like and see what you learn from it (which usually are some remarkable discoveries!). Please don’t hesitate to reach out when you’re ready. bethanylindcoaching@gmail.com
I'm rereading Little Women for the millionth time. It's a homecoming every time.
PS - I got most of these books through my library, but if you decide to buy any of them, I of course encourage purchasing through your amazing local bookstore!